But For Now Fuck Your Feelings

So as some of you may well know I recently entered into a relationship with my best friend. A mistake that shall NEVER be repeated. I hope by that last line you can imply that the relationship ended on a very recent and sour note. He never cheats on anyone he's dating lets get that straight right now... He does however text a quick and drunk break-up to you before he fucks his ex-girlfriend. So now you know that, what you didnt know is IM ON VACATION.... IN LAS VEGAS.  I'm here for two days and well now it feels ruined. I get there are plenty of other wolves in the forest, but he was my beta, my second. I knew I wasn't his type.. He likes his girls thin, redheaded and skanky, and Im well chunky brunette and a proud member of the virgin club. The thing is he said he was worried he was going to hurt me and I told him he couldn't.... Well guess how wrong I was.

Fiction and The Truth about Reality, the Bitch

I think I like fiction, because the couple you want to get together almost always gets together. Now I say almost because Hunger Games, Harry Potter disappointed me, but I digress. In fiction the guy and girl meet, share a moment, overcome a huge obstacle, then end up all happily ever after. Then after you get that warm fuzzy feeling, you close the book and get sucked into reality. We all know reality, that magical, charismatic, sentimental, all-knowing BITCH. You can't unload all your emotions for someone ,internally or otherwise, without crippling yourself!! It doesn't work that way. You can't just walk up to someone and say, "I think I may be eternally and totally, head over heels in love with you," and then make out in the rain.  Since in the wonderful reality there is such a thing as the "Friend Zone" or "whores" and if there are in fiction then they're killed or they reform, or the right person distracts the leading character. SO FUCK FICTION, I DON'T CARE HOW MUCH I LOVE IT BECAUSE IT KILLS ME INSIDE!!!! Anyone else?

Pour Me Out

I'm doing something I don't take credit for doing very often. I'm obsessing and I'm crying, at the same time. I feel like explaining would be crediting me to the melodramatic, whiny, teen, girl stereotype. Either way here goes. I've been pining over this boy for a while now. He doesn't like me the way I like him and I understand that, but it still hurts like hell to see him with someone else. It hurts even worse that he's hiding it from me, because I hate the stupid bitch (and have since before I even knew the guy I like). The guy doesn't know that I like him, or at least I hope he doesn't somebody once told me that it was kind of obvious. Now I know he's with this girl and happy, I can't even say anything because he doesn't know that I know. This girl has a tendency to destroy peoples lives, the last to guys that dated her threatened to kill themselves. Now I, a lamb dressed as a wolf, am crying and listening to sad music being a stereotype.

Midnight Run

   I hate when I'm texted past nine o'clock. To be honest I really just hate the idea of texting in general, but I don't like being texted past nine. Now here's the story of it. Last night or more like this morning, I got a text message from a guy I like. It was almost midnight, but I smiled just because of the name on my contacts. Well the way he was texting was a little off so I asked if he had been drinking to which he reluctantly admitted he had been.Then I was asked a question. Now the question seemed a bit bizarre even for him so I didn't answer I changed subjects. A random string of text messages followed on his part. I dismissed my self from the conversation  because it felt forced. Later I got a text from his phone from a friend who knows I like this guy. Now I'm trying to figure out who was actually texting me. I had a performance I had to go to this morning. I knew if I didn't sleep I would never be performance ready, but trying to figure this out really just made me feel exhausted. I probably could have gotten a command performance (okay no I couldn't of but it's fun to dream, right?)if I had slept better. So now I'm just lost. In the words of Bradley Copper from the Hangover "Don't text me it's gay".

The Shocking Disapointment of a Twilightless Teen Female

 I like Twilight.
  The storyline is rediculous, the concept is clichè, the changes made to the vampire phenotype is genuinly unacceptable, but never the less I like the films (I don't like the books reading them was murder and Stephanie Myer should be shamed). In actuallity I rather like the movies because they suck, no pun intended. The people in the movie don't seem to fit, like when you try to jam the wrong piece into a puzzle. Robert Pattinson was glad the movies were over. Even though I have all these problems with the saga I proudly own everyone of them. You guys remeber that I moved right? Well, during this progress I shoved the first three movies along with the last book of a COMPLETELY different series in a box, and sent it to storage without marking it. Now I can't find them and I'm pretty upset about it, and I can't figure out why.

Small Town= Musical Bermuda Triangle

 My town is notorious for creating a unique country sound known 'creatively' as the Bakersfield Sound. Country artists refer to my home town lovingly from Merle Haggard's song Streets of Bakersfield to Jerrod Niemann's song Bakersfield. The thing is they sing about it but they NEVER come here. I like more than country music though so I get fucked over even more! The other genres say okay Bakersfield go to Hell        country music can have you, because you suck. We learned that by watching that shitty cop show Bakersfield 5.0. But country artists hardly ever come, so people here wait for Free-for-Alls  to sit through seven shitty bands to see the one they were there for. Artists who do come through here talk about how amazing it is and then they don't come back so either their labels don't want then to come here or they don't. So we lose everything music related, because of our fucked up little town. TO ALL THE MUSIC LABELS WHO DON'T WANT THEIR BANDS HERE IN MY HOME TOWN YOU CAN EITHER TAKE YOUR MILLIONS SHOVE THEM WHERE THE SUN DON'T SHINE AND GO FUCK YOURSELF CONTINUOUSLY AND PROFUSELY UNTIL YOU AGREE THAT THEY CAN PLAY HERE!.

Rain

I want it to rain. I want it to rain so I can smile again. Rain brings me a sort of mental clarity I wish I had all the time. In the rain I can say anything and not be afraid if I cry because no one can tell. I can tell that guy I have liked since I met him that I like him. In the rain I can pretend that I'm a ten when I know so far down in my soul that it hurts that I'm a two. I would be a three, but I have horrible self esteem. In the rain everything I want to be is everything I am, and no one can tell me I'm wrong. I'm one of those people who at the first sign of rain runs outside and waits. It's my armor. Rain makes me feel like I'm not just the girl they talk to to complain about their girlfriends, play video games with, and even text in the middle of the night to tell about their bad dreams. I'm their sister, the one that they keep around to make themselves feel better, and rain erases all that! So again I say I want it to rain.