Rain

I want it to rain. I want it to rain so I can smile again. Rain brings me a sort of mental clarity I wish I had all the time. In the rain I can say anything and not be afraid if I cry because no one can tell. I can tell that guy I have liked since I met him that I like him. In the rain I can pretend that I'm a ten when I know so far down in my soul that it hurts that I'm a two. I would be a three, but I have horrible self esteem. In the rain everything I want to be is everything I am, and no one can tell me I'm wrong. I'm one of those people who at the first sign of rain runs outside and waits. It's my armor. Rain makes me feel like I'm not just the girl they talk to to complain about their girlfriends, play video games with, and even text in the middle of the night to tell about their bad dreams. I'm their sister, the one that they keep around to make themselves feel better, and rain erases all that! So again I say I want it to rain.