Do It You Pansy Ass

 Don't just sit around saying "Ohh no one cares. I'm just going to kill myself," I mean seriously come on. I your telling people you're going to kill yourself you obviously aren't going to.  You are telling people so they'll tell you not to and give you reasons why you need to live. Your basically just doing it so it will feel like people care. Honestly, if you really think that you can't get out of what ever trouble you're in you are dead wrong. There is always away out of your mistakes. No I am not just making this stuff up, studies have shown that if you say your going to kill yourself you don't. It's normal to want to die, it isn't good but its normal. Now a kid will kill themselves at the drop of a hat. They hate me because I'm gay, dead. Oh I'm being bullied, dead. My crush called me ugly, dead. My best friend moved, dead. My parents are getting divorced, dead. This happens every day to people and they don't go around killing themselves. We are getting to torn up about these things now. Ask your parents if you're younger if they were this sensitive back then. If you're older, were you this sensitive about this crap. Yes teen suicide happens and it's a shame ,but honestly don't come bitching to me about how you want to end your life for some reason that I'm sure is very important to you but no one else really cares about. Why don't you try starting a conversation with "Hey can we talk? I have some stuff going on, and I think you would listen."  not "I'm going to kill myself because (insert stupid reason here)".  Now don't go thinking that I give a flying fart in space, because well I don't. So breathe and fucking reevaluate your life because bitch you don't got it that bad, I guarantee you this problem you have going on right now has an escape route (that isn't suicide) you just need to find it.  And if it is really that bad, call the local suicide hot line. To many kids nowadays die for stupid reasons.

The Fine Line Between the Good, the Evil, and the Murder of a Lonely Girl's Spirit

  I'm being uprooted again. People move all the time, right? I mean, I have a friend whose moved five times in the past year. I have only ever moved once, and that was out of the house I had lived in for twelve years. That house was everything to me. My sister had carved our names into the ceiling of our old bedroom, I grew up there, it was the only home I knew, the only LIFE I knew. I was twelve and my parents were getting divorced, I didn't know that meant we would end up moving too. So we left the house for a little apartment not so far from there so I could still go to the same school. Now, three years later we are facing eviction at the clutches of the vicious, under qualified antagonist. Here is the story. A few weeks ago her lackey gives us eviction papers, but here's the hitch, they weren't filed yet so there was no case number. Our antagonist had also WHITED OUT the part were our pet deposit was on our lease. Upon comparison with the original of the document we found many other things wrong with it. So my mother pulled out the receipts and various other documents we would need to handle this so that we could set the record straight. While we believed we had won the papers were being filed any way. So tonight my mother gets a call from a very guilty Lackey. His guilt had rendered him unable to sleep, therefore he had to inform us that if my mother didn't go down to the courthouse and take care of this immediately it was going to default into eviction. Not only are documents being voided and lines being crossed, but our antagonist is apparently losing her position. That could mean the end of it or the beginning of a whole new life for me.... again.

Pack Mentality

 Wolves are my favorite animal. At first I thought it was because they were hunters, fierce. Now I think I'm just envious. Wolves have a purpose and don't lie to them selves about how they feel. Every wolf has a purpose in its pack, and knows just where it fits in to place. Every wolf hunts and kills out of necessity. Never will one claim to be a vegetarian nor will one be courteous if you overstepped your boundaries. They are open about loving meat and don't care if you call them rude. We write it off because they're animals and we aren't. But, we are. Deep down we all want the same things; to survive, to be accepted, to have a family we can tolerate, to be in charge. Humans don't acknowledge ourselves for what we are, animals and the worst kind too. We don't care if people get hurt in what we do if it gets us ahead, but the wild life takes only what it needs from its fellows. Am I alone here in saying that we just might be the animals that we so desperately demote in our minds as primitive?

Stereotypical

  How can my life be so perfect and so shitty at the same time? I mean my friends are great, I have a boyfriend that I love, I have a great dad. Yet, My mom is evil, my sister is.... a completely different story, I'm stuck in class with my arch Nemesis, I'm drowning in my friends' issues, and my family never wants to got to anything I do. So I'm a whiny teen from California who feels well alone, what else is new right. Even that last sentence was cliche. At least I'm honest about my being unoriginal. People say I have everything going for me, but that's just what people say to you to keep you from sticking your head in the oven isn't it? I can get a solo or play the perfect fricking minuet on the bass, I can sing every note in a song I've never sung before and no one will see it. No, I've never been beaten by a boyfriend or my parents. Both my parents are alive, divorced, but I know where they are. Yeah I have a nook and a smart phone, I have my own room and an older sister. I don't cut and I get semi decent grades. I have things people would love to have, and I'm complaining that my life is shit. I get it If you are a kid whose dad ran and your moms dead or the other way around, you don't think I have a right to bitch. For you my life is easy, and that is because you've seen lower, darker places. I haven't. For me I am literally in Hell. This is Hell for me. So you look at that kid complaining about his parents getting divorced or being an only child, and you say "you can't  complain," and then you list a few things that  make your life worse. Guess what, you just made him feel awful and now he's going to go home and do something stupid because he can't even vent about the lowest place he has ever been in life. I don't get to vent or cry because people see me as strong and collected, I am far from. So this is my Hell and I want free from it. If you want free from your personal Hell, quit pushing me further into mine.

Family

  The not so elusive house guest monster is here. I hate it when some thing happens and you let someone crash on your couch then in the morning when they are supposed to leave, they don't. Do I really have a say in the matter? No, because if I kick out said house guest they will cry to my mom who will inevitably call me bitchy and rude then allow them full access to my home. If I was older my mother wouldn't have a say in the matter of who I let in my home, but I'm only 15, so no choice for me. But there really is only one monster worse The Family House guest. This is bad. My grandmother is sleeping on the couch and my grandfather is in my bed. Now my grandfather doesn't shower, when I thought they were leaving I washed my sheets, so they wouldn't smell like old hippy. Of course, now they aren't leaving and I have to remake my bed to make them feel more comfortable. I HAVEN'T SLEPT IN MY BED FOR 3 DAYS!! I don't care if they're comfortable or not I just want my bed back!! It isn't bad enough that they practically live over here and my mother is trying to get me to move with them? If they do move I'm moving to my dad's. I can't handle my grandmother micromanaging or my grandfather not showering let alone neither of them doing anything to help around the house. I mean if you're going to stay here at least help out right. Well they don't and when they say that they're leaving tomorrow they better mean it!

Music

  No matter how bad my life gets music helps. The right song can do anything! Im listening to Austin by Blake Shelton and it gives me hope for my life (I honestly don't know why). Now it's Kiss My Country Ass, again Blake Shelton. not even a CD just a happy coincedence that they are both the same guy. It doesn't matter what song it is I have a response to it. Usually a different response then most people do to the same song. William Congreve is noted for saying " Music has charms to sooth a savage beast, soften rocks,or bend a knotted oak". I find a brand new world of music in the world we have around us. Spare me the whole "everyone says that" crap because I don't care. Nit-pickers bug me therefore I bug me. Ha I just realized this.I JUST REALIZED I BUG MYSELF!! The things you learn right.

Judgy

  I  just found out my best friend is pregnant. Now the one that should be bitching about being judged is her, right? Well, it isn't  her mom is the one complaining about people judging her. I love my friend and am highly worried about her future. Her mother won't let her get an abortion or put it up for adoption. This girl is 14 has no goals, no prospects, no job, and SUCKS at school. Not just that, the father is an ass hole. So all this could put so much stress on my friend that she miscarries and that would really screw her up. Her mother then posts on Facebook that people need to quit judging. Now that wouldn't bug me so much if all the comments didn't say we'll be there for you. They aren't there for her daughter, but her. The mom is stupid enough to take in strays on a daily basis and let her daughter's OLDER boyfriend stay in her home. She is making her daughter keep a child she might not even want. I would suggest that she give custody to her older, engaged sister who can't have kids. But that would be a constant reminder of the pain.  Her mom just needs to step off, because everyone judges. Judging is in human nature, there is a profession dedicated to it for Christ's sake. Even her mom is judging her and she can't even see it. Her mom is going to keep judging her as long as that kid exists. Hell this girl is my best friend and I'm not ashamed to admit that I judged her a little too. She can't handle a kid and they got evicted from an apartment so neither can her mom. So since I'm never going to see her again here we go. Bitch quit fucking judging those who judge you because your no fucking better. Do whats right for the family and keep that ass hole away from her. SO BITCH STEP DOWN AND SUPPORT YOUR DAUGHTER WITH WHATEVER SHE WANTS TO DO! IT'S YOUR DAUGHTERS KID NOT YOURS LET HER MAKE HER OWN DAMN CHOICES, AND HELP HER WITH WHAT SHE CHOSES!!!!  DON'T FORCE HER TO DO ANYTHING. One more thing out of her mom's mouth and I will show her judging!