Small Town= Musical Bermuda Triangle

 My town is notorious for creating a unique country sound known 'creatively' as the Bakersfield Sound. Country artists refer to my home town lovingly from Merle Haggard's song Streets of Bakersfield to Jerrod Niemann's song Bakersfield. The thing is they sing about it but they NEVER come here. I like more than country music though so I get fucked over even more! The other genres say okay Bakersfield go to Hell        country music can have you, because you suck. We learned that by watching that shitty cop show Bakersfield 5.0. But country artists hardly ever come, so people here wait for Free-for-Alls  to sit through seven shitty bands to see the one they were there for. Artists who do come through here talk about how amazing it is and then they don't come back so either their labels don't want then to come here or they don't. So we lose everything music related, because of our fucked up little town. TO ALL THE MUSIC LABELS WHO DON'T WANT THEIR BANDS HERE IN MY HOME TOWN YOU CAN EITHER TAKE YOUR MILLIONS SHOVE THEM WHERE THE SUN DON'T SHINE AND GO FUCK YOURSELF CONTINUOUSLY AND PROFUSELY UNTIL YOU AGREE THAT THEY CAN PLAY HERE!.

Rain

I want it to rain. I want it to rain so I can smile again. Rain brings me a sort of mental clarity I wish I had all the time. In the rain I can say anything and not be afraid if I cry because no one can tell. I can tell that guy I have liked since I met him that I like him. In the rain I can pretend that I'm a ten when I know so far down in my soul that it hurts that I'm a two. I would be a three, but I have horrible self esteem. In the rain everything I want to be is everything I am, and no one can tell me I'm wrong. I'm one of those people who at the first sign of rain runs outside and waits. It's my armor. Rain makes me feel like I'm not just the girl they talk to to complain about their girlfriends, play video games with, and even text in the middle of the night to tell about their bad dreams. I'm their sister, the one that they keep around to make themselves feel better, and rain erases all that! So again I say I want it to rain.

My Newest Ramblings

I often find myself saying, " When I get rich I'll do that,". I'm sure you're now wondering why that is such a big deal, am I wrong? Well, the truth is, it isn't really a big deal. I only bring it up because people with a lot of money generally get a way with more than those of us without. Take Lindsey Lohan, how many MAJOR crimes has she commited and not been properly punished for. I don't mean to pick on Lohan, because she honestly isn't the only one. Many wealthy or famous people get away with quite a bit more. Now, I'm not talking about myself commiting crimes major or minor, I'm just talking about things that would have me considered insane. I know many wealthy people are not the picture of mental stabillity, but still they aren't called insane by any one but those who truely see things as they are. There lies my reasons for waiting until I have money to do the things I want so badly to do. Rich people are never crazy they are merely eccentric

Slap Him Through The Phone

People on a whole are idiots. I think the world would be a hell of a lot better if we just accepted that. But there are some people that are so far beyond the plain of stupidity you wish there was a twenty-two year late term abortion window(Chris Titus: Neverlution). Take for example my dear friend 'T'. He dated my friend 'M' twice. Well you know fool me once right. Okay that's fine. A year has passed since they broke up and I haven't had to scrape either of them out of the toilet since.  Now M is litterally days away from giving birth to a baby boy (It isn't T's). The father bailed second trimester. Which is understandable, it isn't right but it's understandable. A 17 year old guy doesn't want to be tied to a 14 year old girl and a baby all his life. So now T is trying to make up for it. He texts me "what if if M and I start dating again?".  So I replied " OMG REALLY IT ENDS BADLY EVERYTIME AND THEN BOTH OF YOU GET UPSET. SHE GETS DEPRESSED YOU WONDER WHY YOU STEPED INTO HER DRAMA! THE ONLY DIFFERENCE THIS TIME IS YOU KNOW THE DRAMA YOUR STEPPING INTO. I CANT TELL IF ITS STUPIDITY INSANITY OR BLIND FAITH! EINSTIEN WOULD CALL IT INSANITY!"(that was my exact message I copied it of my phone). I was a little harsh but I needed to snap scense into him! I repeatedly told him, he is to good for her. My friend 'K' agreed with me so I'm not a total prick, or atleast the not only one. He really didn't care what I said. His dumbass did it anyway. Dating an ex is like buying your shit back from Salvation Army. THERE IS A REASON YOU GOT RID OF IT!!  It wasn't even a little reason, first they cheated on each other, then she went fucking insane!! Now he is dating her again. SAY IT WITH ME PEOPLE " FUCKING DUMBASS". So the sooner we realize we are all stupid the sooner the people who are slightly less stupid can start helping the retards.

Last Words to a Family Member

Yesterday, I found out my uncle had passed. He was in his early twenties. He threw his life away via Heroin. So I have a message for him, He may not be able to read it but it could save a life or two.

Message to my Uncle Joesph.
You were the one in the family that was supposed to make something of your self. Now the only thing you have suceeded in making of yourself is a corpse. When a call to your family from the police is the last we hear of you there is a problem. Both your father and your brother were police officers, you knew better. Now your neice and nephew have to make something of ourselves so that we can make up for the years you robbed from yourself.  Brittany and I grew up with you. We loved you. Ian grew up wanting to be like you, well now I hope he doesn't. Even though you were joking at the time, I looked foward to you teaching me how to drive. Remember when were at a family reunion and Brittany fell down that hill with either you or Nick? I do. I remember trying hard in that Kareoke contest last year so I could impress you.  I remember the Zelda shirt you were wearing after we saw each other again for the first time in eight years. And I will probably remember what they put you in for your burial. Because you won't really be there to remember for your self. Thats how life is when all you make of yourself is a corpse.

Lets Recap =P

I HATE SUMMER SCHOOL! Okay so Im taking PE and they have us running 5 miles a day doing P90X and lifting weights all in a 3 hour time slot. It literally blows. As if that wasn't enough I get to help move my mother, grandparents and myself into my mother's boyfriends house. There are three good things about that, and as materialistic as they sound they make it better. 1) I get to decorate my room however I want. 2) They're getting me a dog. 3) I get a truck for my birthday. I TOLD YOU IT SOUNDED MATERIALISTIC! It also gets me out of my Dad's house, where I am being eaten alive by fleas. I love my Dad but the fleas are out of hand. So I have all that shit to think about.

Stupid

Okay so I was house sitting/ pet sitting this weekend. I did something stupid. Not stupid like your thinking no sex, drugs, or liquor. I do love to disappoint you my dear readers so I won't get into it. My stupidity left my heart racing and my mind on fire. I found my self breathless ,and my friends will tell you I am never breathless. I wasn't however speechless. I actually found my speech clear and concise. I never wavered I kept my cool until the end, at which point I called my dear friend who proceeded to 'improve' my feeling on the situation. I love her, but she isn't helpful. She insisted upon comparing my stupidity to hers (they are nothing alike... TRUST ME.) I am better now just thought I would give you a taste and then keep the bowl for my self. :P