A War of the Inner Goddess

I dislike her. I dislike her so damn much. All of my friends love her and worship the ground she walks on. And he treats her like her body is an alter to Aphrodite. I hate knowing how he feels about her. I hate breathing the same air as her. But I can't hate her. I can't hate her because she's sweet, sensitive, and because she has his heart. I am a creature born of hate and spite and fire and rage. I am a heinous bitch and I can't hate her. Do you know how much it fucking kills me to not be able to hate her!? The only light at the end of the tunnel is she can't write out a full thought. Every word she writes is short handed or butchered beyond recognition. She can't spell and that is the only reason I'm able to dislike her.  She may be the    close to Aphrodite, but I am the spawn of Athena and Aries. Her beauty was given to her at birth, but my anger and wisdom were forged in the heat of a great war for control of my heart. It may have been a war I lost long ago but the lessons stay and haunt me always. Never let your heart outweigh your brain, never let your guard down, and never EVER let your opponent get the best of you. So I hide my emotions and I plan in solace. I may not come out emotionally stable, I may not come out at all, but I will not lose this battle. And to those who still think the prize is a boy I assure you that isn't the case. The prize is my just another battle scar proving that I've done something with my fragile teenager life. I will not fight over any boy. I will not be that petty girl who gets boozed up and has a some one hold my earrings while I beat this bitch's ass and then take her to a mud pit and proceed to beat a hoe. I will however fight FOR a man. If he is worth it I will fight for him, to keep him, to hold him, even if the fight is with him. That is the person I am.  The person I desire is just a battlefield though. His girlfriend is just an opponent that I can't hate. The fight isn't won with anyone ending up with him. The fight is won when I decide the fight isn't worth it or that the surface battle is a lost cause. Like I said the true prize is the chance to have battled my adversary and the experience I've earned from it

Impractical Magic

There's almost a magical quality about loving someone who doesn't love you back. You can always see the best in them, no matter the worst they've done to you. Every word they say hangs in the air like when you bake something really yummy. But no matter how you much you love them, you know they won't love you back. Yet despite all of the bull shit they put you through you follow them like a lost puppy. They can do no wrong but their partner can do no good. They love their girlfriend/ boyfriend and since you love the object of your affection you pretend to enjoy the company of their special friend. You fake a smile when you see them together, you look away when they kiss which seems like all the time, you cry when you're alone. It's hard to be the chief justice of an unrequited love. You become the things you hate most. And you try to tell yourself it's better for everyone but honestly it's not.